AP
Bachelorette‘s Hannah Brown kept it together on Monday’s episode of Dancing With the Stars that aired on October 28, but sobbed some tears behind the scenes, according to a source who spoke to Us Weekly. The former Bachelorette star shared her feelings about feeling”disconnected” in an Instagram post shared on Tuesday, October 29.
“Hannah was crying a lot last night offstage,” said the source.
Brown expressed her state of mind on Instagram the following day. “This experience has been harder than I could have ever imagined,” she began the post. “When I decided to do DWTS I thought it would be a fun way to channel all my energy after a whirlwind experience as the Bachelorette. I was hopeful that the confidence I gained this year to take pride in the woman I have become would have the opportunity to shine, and I’d feel that reboot in my spirit after it took a bit of a beating after my Bachelorette season.”
She continued on and explained, “I came into this experience a little broken and confused—more than I’ve shared. Everyday has brought its challenges with my past, my fears, and the uncomfortableness of opening myself up again to be judged on something VERY scary like learning a new skill to perform each week. Last night was really defeating for me and a lot of suppressed emotions started to surface from this amazing, but grueling experience.”
On Monday’s episode, Carrie Ann Inaba also mentioned Brown’s disconnect. “You are disconnected from the movements. I need you to give your heart,” Inaba, 51, told the reality star. “We want to see layers that nobody has seen before and I know it’s hard to do but, I swear, if you open up and let it go raw out here, we will be here for you,” said Inaba.
In her Instagram post on Tuesday, Brown also added that she wants to show more of her true self. “I want to be me. I want to be real. I feel my best when I feel like I have the opportunity to share my heart with others. But I know that’s been lacking in what has been seen on DWTS. It’s true there is a disconnect. I am busting my ass. I am giving this my all. It’s my focus and passion right now. But each week I fall flat. I’ve gotten to the point of being so anxious before I perform that I can’t completely enjoy it like I wish and know I could.”
“I KNOW I have a lot more I can give,” Brown added. “I want to be able to feel free and confident to dance with my whole heart. I’m working on getting there.”
Brown ended the post by thanking fans and family who were supporting the star. “I’m blown away by the support I see and feel from all of you who love me through it all. So thank you— here’s to another opportunity to grow. See y’all next Monday!”
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Brittany R
Brittany is a writer who is obsessed with rom-com movies, Gossip Girl, reality television, fashion, and pop-culture. When she isn't reporting on the latest celeb buzz, she is filling up her online shopping cart without checking out.